This person used the punning jibe “good-for-nothing” to mock a man’s sexual prowess. This person received a wedding band with the inscription “to destiny” after being married. This person is not Louis Philippe, but this person’s daughter Hortense was wounded while they traveled to see a performance of The Creation when a shotgun set off an explosive device dubbed “the infernal machine.” This person carried on a highly public affair with Hippolyte Charles (“ee-poh-LEET SHARL”), a hussar lieutenant. This person established extensive rose gardens at Malmaison (“mahl-may-ZOH”). A leader spoke this person’s name alongside “the army, the head of the army” as his last words while dying of stomach cancer in exile. This person was the [emphasize] second to be crowned at a ceremony blessed by Pius VII in 1804, directly after her husband. For 10 points, name this Martinican woman who became Empress of France as Napoleon’s first wife. ■END■
ANSWER: Joséphine Bonaparte [or Empress Joséphine Bonaparte; or Empress Joséphine de Beauharnais; or Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de La Pagerie; prompt on Bonaparte; prompt on de Beauharnais] (Joséphine’s punning jibe was “bon-a-parte est bon-à-rien”)
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= Average correct buzz position